ADELAIDE FRINGE REVIEW: W*NK BANK, GARDEN OF UNEARTHLY DELIGHTS, 2019

If there was ever one class at school that warranted full attendance, perfect grades and homework on weekends Wank Bank would be it!

Wank Bank presented by the Rural Ranga AKA The Ginger Ninja AKA Adam Seymour is essentially a masterclass is masturbation or a Handy Hand-Job – How to!

Adam Seymour is an Australian artist who created a book of art from his happy ending massages. Adam spent a year living in New York City working as a niche market masseur (although, evidentially not so niche) and detailed those he met by transforming them each into pieces of art!

Adam’s Hand Job Handbook was later published under the title – Wank Bank.

Adam has learnt a lot throughout his journey, and he’d love to share with us lucky Fringe goers exactly what that is…in absolute, descriptive, obscene detail!

We had a feeling going in to Wank Bank – labelling itself as ‘interactive’ that we might find ourselves in some unforgiving, embarrassing and compromising positions. After being given a tote bag with a carrot, a cucumber and a list of instructions we decided we may need some liquid courage on board for this one (learning how to give a five star Old Fashioned is thirsty work)!

Luckily, we were pleasantly surprised by Adam’s warm natured demeanour and his immediate ability to make everyone feel cool, comfortable and at ease.

As the show progressed my pen and paper intended for reviewing purposes ended up being used for taking notes! Adam’s weird ‘Wanking Workshop’ was filled with tips, ticks and wobbly bits that we’d never known before. This was genius!

All the way from the ‘Corkscrew’ to opening the ‘Gates of Consciousness’ we were learning moves that felt as if they were being passed down from the Ultimate Master(bator) to us mere mortals.

After leaving the show several people approached us filled with inquiry (we were carrying large tote bags that said “WANK BANK”). After explaining about the show, it was almost as if we were passing along the gospel! People were asking us to send them the instructions and to demonstrate what we had learned. It was at that point that we felt as if we were doing God’s work; a couple of modern-day Mother Teresas – Missionary Position.

The Rural Ranga’s Wank Bank is a must-do masterclass in all things man massage. It’s not often you get to go to a Fringe show that is genuinely this fun, informative and comical as well as being able to equip you with some practical skills you can apply into your daily (sex) life.

Adam’s kind-nature and openness were what made this show so much fun for us to enjoy. It really allowed you to have a laugh at yourself and prompted positive expression of sexuality (without all the awkwardness you might imagine).

He may be teaching you how to touch your genitals – but he’ll end up touching your heart!

This show is an absolute must-see if you enjoy the weird, whacky (and the Wanky). Go, learn, discover and continue to pass on the gospel! Get your tickets HERE.

5 stars

By Daisy Sumersford

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